the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
That's when you crack a 10am beer
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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