he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
