Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
