Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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