He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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