You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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