is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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