you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
