Quick, to the slutcave!
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
