whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
