No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
