whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
