with your own penis?
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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