i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize