I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
