I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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