it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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