I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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