He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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