but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
