if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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