yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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