Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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