There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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