porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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