Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
