so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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