its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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