I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
