Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
