i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
