Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I met the friendliest cop last night
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
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I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
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His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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