That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
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before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
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Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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