I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
We are two peas in an std pod
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
