Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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