She went from zero to smokin in five shots
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
