i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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