let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
