my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
