just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
