please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Pooping to opera.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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