For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
