Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
