So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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