This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
