First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Randomize