Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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