dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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