The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
