I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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