Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
