forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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