I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
