Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
