I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i just had sex bonerless
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Randomize
