I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
