please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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