Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
