I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
