listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
